Saturday, August 22, 2009

If I were a bet woman...

"Please clean and cut the calamari, right away" I heard one of my Sous-Chefs say as I stood there scanning the prep board.
"Sure" (I learned this is the best answer to give to this particular sous-chef)

I told you this would happen, didn't I? I should have bet money on it.

Why wait until 3 pm to have someone deal with the squid? Because they were "slammed", they say. I know better. It's because, at present, I'm the best squid cleaner that can be found in our kitchen. Aah, such a fine compliment...

For the next hour or so, I cleaned the squid I had dumped into the sink, pulling out the spine and all snot-like innards. Once the most unpleasant part was done, I took the now clean squid to the cutting board where I proceeded to slice half-inch rings, dumping them all into a container to my left, which later I weighed into equal size portions and bagged for later use.

I have to let you know that although my culinary knowledge is not expanding on a daily basis, I am making great progress as far as my musical education is concerned. Why only yesterday I listened to a band called "Daft Punk" on one of our cooks' iPod! I was really proud of myself for refraining from banging my head on the stainless steel table located at the back of the kitchen, where I can be found prepping. Also, I was told the video is fabulous; some skeleton robot doing... I fortunately tuned out the rest. Jeezus, I am old.

Another irritant is the radio permanently set to some rock station (I know which one but I won't tell you) by our breakfast cook. She is one of two people in our entire kitchen who actually listen to that. Unfortunately for me the second person works the same shift I do thus subjecting me to some awful head-bangin' stuff.

What happened to CHFI and Gloria Estefan??? Even 99.9 will do although, since it became Virgin Radio, I find it less cool than before. I must request an earlier shift in order to arrive in the kitchen before anyone else. Either that, or see my doctor. I am sure there is some medication I can take.

Ah, but this is a cooking blog, you'll say. Well, let me tell you that today I have learned nothing, but made up for it by eating. I consumed an icecream drumstick, a slab of chocolate cake, two chicken fingers, what felt like a mountain of fries, one battered cod (our sous on duty was prepping fish for fish and chips and they were so beautiful and golden I couldn't resist), several chunks of strawberries and pineapple. Cutting those juicy pineapples is too tempting for someone possessing as little willpower as I do. And today was a day of slim pickings man! On average I can pack away a lot more. You want examples? Half a smoked salmon pizza, a chicken shawarma, half a lemon-sage chicken panini or club sandwich (depends on which way the wind blows), regular fries drenched in dijonnaise, as well as the occasional red fry (read: sweet potato fry). Wash it all down with a coke at first. Guilt sets in quickly after so I switch to club soda, with a dash of cranberry juice -- you know, to flush the kidneys (or so I tell myself).

Access to all the food and drink one could dream of is a very dangerous thing when PMSing. And since I am PMSing two weeks in any given month, I will be joining Jenny Craig soon by the looks of it.

My favourite dish on the menu? Depends on the day. Today, it was the Thai Chicken Soup. Yah, even in this heat, there's something about that broth. I'm off tomorrow which can only mean that on Sunday, feeling deprived, I will throw down some spring rolls and get a large ramekin of sweet chili sauce. Mmm...

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