This is my second day of unemployment in a long time. I came to Canada 11 years ago and was fortunate enough to find work within six months of my arrival. Since I have a fair amount of stick-with-itness I have had only three jobs ever since, the third one being the current one, that of a cook. I have also been fortunate enough to never been fired or laid off. This is why the current situation, that of being in-between jobs, is unfamiliar to me. It's more than the fact that I am bored, although I am. I have been on holidays a week at a time in the past but this feels different. I don't feel on holidays. Instead, I feel useless, like I am not earning my keep.
My partner is very supportive of me being "in transition" as she calls it but I am very uncomfortable with being a kept woman for the time being. I keep myself busy cooking and cleaning as hundreds of thousands of women have done before me when keeping house but am counting down the days when I can be back at work. It'll be soon enough, I know that, and I am trying my damnedest to enjoy the spare time I have been given but the harder I try, the guiltier I feel. I have had dinner guests both last night and tonight and I felt entertained on both occasions. Tomorrow a friend is taking me out for a belated birthday dinner and Thursday I am going to the bistro for our first day of dry runs. Although I won't be earning wages for those days I will be there cooking, feeling like I make a difference.
Tomorrow morning I plan to take a "sick day", stay in my pyjamas, in bed, watching Food Tv and TMN. Maybe I'll be able to trick my brain into thinking it's not unemployment, it's just a good ol' sick day. Wish me luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment